Today we invoked a very feminine play. We worked our hips and our twists the entire time and it was a struggle. A good struggle, the kind of struggle you get used to working with H. Not only am I learning steps and direction, but I’m also involving myself in a series of visualizations and understandings.. building a world inside and outside of myself… all while moving my hips in slow strange gyrations.
Good news, I got better at it.
Bad news, I got better at it and it wasn’t what H. wanted.
Sometimes it feels like when you finally give up after being frustrated and “not doing it right” is just when she says YES, that is very good!
It’s also like butoh training is backwards to every pleasurable somatic impulse I have… or, more likely I learn to be more body efficient and everything turns on its head now wont it!>